The Boil Cure Complexity
by hopesuffocating
Summary: Sheldon gets his Pottermore email and is delighted. Leonard is less happy. Rated T for mild language, slight slash and references to coitus.


**A/N: **First TBBT fic! Review if you want to- I don't think I got the tone right in some places. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **If I owned The Big Bang Theory, I'd be rich! Seriously though, I'm nothing but a loving fan. I don't own anything.

"Oh, dear Lord."

Leonard looks up from the sofa. Sheldon is so engrossed in his laptop he hasn't even noticed that Leonard's lying face down in his spot. "Oh, dear Lord." Sheldon repeats.

"What is it, Sheldon?" Leonard asks, his tone decidedly lackluster. Sheldon pushes away from his computer desk and spins around on the chair.

"Pottermore Insider claims that the latest round of welcome emails have been sent. I am currently continuing the wait for my email inbox to load." He gives his hotmail account a dirty look and begins to turn around again, then changes his mind and faces Leonard. "You're in my spot."

"What?" Leonard yells excitedly. He sits up and grabs his phone, tapping avidly at the screen.

"You were in my spot, but as you have moved, the point is moot." Leonard ignores the taller man. "Oh, you were exclaiming 'what' in excitement, rather than asking me to repeat what I said. That makes sense." Sheldon returns to his computer desk, staring impatiently at his laptop screen. The apartment is quiet bar the two of them tapping at their respective keyboards, but the brief silence is broken by both of them.

"Yes!" hisses one of the physicists. The shoulders of the other slump in defeat.

Sheldon grins widely and scarily as he follows the link from his email to Pottermore. Leonard refreshes the page, but to no avail. He lies back down and, once more, ends up face down on the sofa.

/(|)\

"Bang bang, bitches!" Howard announces as he swaggers through the apartment door, Raj in tow. "Ready to have your asses beaten at Halo?"

Leonard greets them both before asking Sheldon to join them. The lanky physicist ignores him. He goes over and stands behind his chair. "Shelly?" By the looks of it, Sheldon's trying- and failing- to brew a potion. "Shelly, it's eight pm, and you know that means Halo."

Sheldon holds up a hand. "Yes, yes, shh." He continues with the potion before sighing loudly as he fails it once more. "This is just impossible!"

"Sheldon, I think you mean it's improbable." Howard butts in.

"I am Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper, PhD, and I can't brew a potion on Pottermore!" He gets up and leaves the room in a huff.

There's silence in the room. "We'll play Halo without him." Howard says, nodding and moving towards the sofa.

/(|)\

"Sheldon?" Leonard looks into Sheldon's room to find him curled up on his bed. Ever since their relationship progressed from 'friends' to 'more than friends' Sheldon's been letting Leonard into his room more and more often. "Hey, buddy. Koothrappali and Wolowitz are gone; it's just you and me."

Sheldon sighs. "I don't understand my feelings."

"I don't understand them, either." Leonard sighs, moving towards his partner's bed. He sits down on the blue sheets. "What's bothering you?"

"I am one of the brightest people in the country, Leonard. Why can't I brew a simple cure for boils?"

"Is that really all that's bothering you?"

Sheldon sits up. "Really, Leonard. You know full well that I've been waiting for months for this opportunity. I fail to understand how mere children are progressing past this stage, whilst I'm stuck on it!" He takes a breath. "You know, Leonard, my IQ is 187, I've been an avid fan of Harry Potter for many years, and I feel cheated."

"Maybe you should give it another go later." Leonard says. Sheldon relaxes a little.

"That's a very good idea, Leonard. I'll have a little 'down time', as it's called, and then return to it."

"Good." Leonard pats Sheldon's hip. "Would you like me to make you some warm milk?"

"Yes please, Leonard. That would be most enjoyable." The taller man lies back down on his bed.

When Leonard returns with the milk, Sheldon is already in his pyjamas. Leonard puts the milk down and leans over to him. "Shelly?"

"Yes, Leonard?"

"What do you say to spending the night with me tonight?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Leonard. Under Article One, Section Twelve of the Relationship Agreement, I would notify you if I wished to engage in coitus."

Leonard sighs. "I didn't mean coitus... Well, not necessarily. I just meant that we could, you know, sleep."

"In your bed? But your dead skin cells are in there!"

"Sheldon, we've done a lot worse than just sleeping in my bed. And I'll change the sheets if you want me to."

Sheldon sits up. "Thank you, Leonard. That's very kind of you."

Leonard grins in reply.

/(|)\

A muted groan comes from outside the room. Leonard's eyes snap open and he reaches for his glasses. Once they're securely on, he focuses on the alarm clock. 3:42, its dull digital display reads. He reaches over to the other side of the bed, and Sheldon is gone. With a sigh, Leonard leaves the warmth of the sheets and heads out into the living room. Sheldon's there, laptop in hand.

"Sheldon." Leonard moans. "What are you doing?"

Sheldon looks up, his smile slightly maniacal in the light from his laptop screen. "Why, I'm brewing a potion."

Leonard puts his face in his hands. "Of course you are." He sits down heavily next to Sheldon. "Come back to bed, Shelly."

"Wow, Leonard, your sentimentality really does astound me sometimes."

Leonard had to agree with him. "Admit it, I'm a cliché. Now stop brewing the boil cure and sleep."

"Now, Leonard, you know I can't do that. I'm learning a Sleeping Draught now. It's considerably harder."

"You need a sleeping draught. So you completed the boil cure potion?"

"Yes, with a little help from the internet."

"Sheldon, that's cheating."

"I know what it is, Leonard. It was my last resort."

"Great, but can we please go back to bed?" Leonard points towards his room, standing up.

"Fine. But I demand reconciliatory coitus to apologize for your dragging me away from my sleeping draught."

"You're the one that dragged me away from my _sleep._"

"You're just jealous because you don't have your Pottermore email."

"I'm sure," Leonard pulls Sheldon towards the bedroom, "We can come up with some other way for me to use my wand."

"What do you mean, Leonard?" The pair disappear into Leonard's room, the door closing firmly behind them.

"Nothing. It doesn't matter. Lie down in the middle of the bed."


End file.
